THE ROLE OF CHRISTIANS AND THE CHURCH IN THE SOCIAL MEDIA CULTURE

By Marianne Mauti

At present, about a third of the actual world is online or engaged in social media! If you have an email address, facebook account, twitter feed,or have done just about anything on the worldwide web you are involved in some way or another with social media! This sizeable amount constitutes a revolution in communication because it changes the way we communicate and it changes what we communicate. While the print, radio and television media will never completely go away we must realize that new generations are growing up with the iPhone and iPad in their hand, with the world at their disposal! They use it every day in every day to communicate shop, play games, disseminate information, do business and socialize. The opportunity to seize he momentum of this new form of communication, however challenging, must be something Christians and the Church take seriously!

For centuries the Church shared the Gospel message using the the method of communication that the rest of the world used. It was preached , taught in churches, it was quoted and spoken about through the printed materials and talked about at social gatherings! It was engrained in an American culture that had essentially remained the same morally and ethically from the time of our founding fathers, until around the turn of the 20th century!

ALOT HAS CHANGED…..

A lot changed in the last century, especially the way the world communicates! While Church was very successful advancing the message of the Gospel over the last several centuries (the Gospel was the single greatest contributing factor to the age of enlightenment, spurring on the industrial revolution ), it's influence on this generation has dissipated to the degree that majority of today's youth say the Bible and Jesus are not relevant to their life.

Today's television programing and even the commercials are so anti-Biblical that it is difficult to find any program that does not intentionally purpose to offend the Word of God in some way or another. The secular movement has re-define d the institution of marriage and the destruction of the Biblical family and they have used every form of mass media to do it! Many believe the secularization of our nation could not have advanced with the force and speed that it has, without the power of the press, the radio and television! It has and continues to reshape and redefine our ideology, culture and our religious convictions!

We are now in a period of communication explosion that is unprecedented in human history!!!! If you has told me 30 years ago that television would become the secondary means of communication around the world I would have told you you were crazy!!!! But in fact more individual get their news and information on a daily basis from the internet than any other news source and governments around the world are becoming increasingly aware of its power and influence!!!!

Not wanting to minimize the power of the Gospel or its ability to transform lives and even nations, there is a clear disparity in just a few short generations. Here are a few things we need to ask ourselves? Has the power and effectiveness of the church on our culture and society has greatly declined, while new methods of reaching enormous numbers of people were being adopted and transformed by the secular world? If God gave us dominion over the earth and in the affairs of men and the responsibility to exercise our authority, then why would we leave such important form of communication in the hands of those who are diametrically opposed to God and His Word?"

The Medium Is the Message

The Church is God's body and His mouth piece. We are the way God has chosen to reveal Himself and he way He has chosen to communicate His message to mankind! God's Word is spoken, taught, preached, sung, acted out, etc. by the Church! We have been for over 2,000 years the medium of His message! The last 200 years have shared that message in various and new ways.

Close to 2,247,000,000 people use social media worldwide. Is it any surprise that we there is a real and growing need for a greaater presence to be felt and our voice to be heard in the new world of social media! Nations that do not allow missionaries have the internet. The freedom of the internet is the freedom to share God's word , His truth, His message !

With all of the media available to today's culture is it possible that the medium we use to say something is important? Preaching the Gospel will always be, in some way, affected by the method in which we choose to convey it, and the internet is no exception. While there is a clear advantage for reaching mass amounts of people all over the world ,there are also clear draw backs.

THE DRAW BACKS….

A basic rule in communication says the wider the audience the less substantive the message simply because it must appeal to a wider general audience. The more people you want to reach, the less of a message you will have, which means keep it simple when it comes to a general audience so the majority of people can understand it. This is the drawback of instant and mass online communication.

There is a concern by many who feel that those sharing the Gospel will have to sacrifice a depth and quality to the message for the price of instant access to a mass audience. In other words, we are telling people what to do without much follow up and no accountability. This kind of ministry is time consuming, slow, and as far as accountability goes, virtually impossible to do. It is definitely not an adequate replacement for discipleship which is meant for a personal level. Mass communication is not personal. Some issues can be overcome to some extent through a personal following or audience (As we shared in "The Power of One Person" article. Personal messages can resonate with others if they feel a connection to you,which many social media sites actually represent.) Your circle of influence could be seen as a fair reflection of a small online community. After all, society is nothing but a collection of smaller groups.

A DISJOINTED COMMUNITY….

Community is extremely important in the maturity of a believer. Social media cannot replace the sense of belonging and community that a local Church can provide.It is at best a disjointed form of community. All mass forms of communication are long distance relationships.When you reduce information to it's simplest and most common denominator the sense of unique or the individuality of smaller communities is lost. We just have to realize that we a disseminating information, as valuable as it may be, it can not stand alone as the ultimate source of ones Christian experience or lifestyle! It could possibly lend to the sense of a disembodied form of community. This of course is the nature of long distance relationships and communication.

Does presenting the Gospel in it's simplest form and structure, distract from the depth of relationship that Christ wants to have with His Church and the Church with one another? Does it just become religious or theological information without the governmental structure or daily accountability that the local church provides? Does it draw others to Christ and lead them to a local church or does it begin and end with the internet? To what extent are we to blame? These are all valid and important questions we have to ask moving forward! We do know that after all has been said, posted, shared and like on social media,that there still remains a side of the gospel that must be experienced or encountered with real people.

The Rise of the Online Church and Community...

The gospel must be embodied and not simply read about or talked about. This was the gist of Paul's exhortation to the Corinthians:

" You are a letter of Christ . . . written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone, but on tablets of human hearts" (2 Cor. 3:3-4).

We might as well say written not electronically on the plasma screen with pixels, but in flesh and blood and in one-to-one encounters with friends, family, and neighbors. Media, as good as it is, cannot substitute for personal experience of God and fellowship with others. This brings the idea of an online community, church or school, which is currently gaining popularity, into question. There is no doubt that people communicate effectively this way, even on Facebook, and they can learn through this medium just like any traditional means, but there is a doubt as to how truly valuable and transformative one's learning or one's community will be if there is no personal encounter. Can a New Testament Church experience and the important spiritual bond and relationships that form and grow as a result of it also form and grow through electronic means? That is something that we have to not only take a serious look at but we also need to become vocal about!

While social media is excellent at giving you a wide audience just like TV and radio and even meeting new people, but it is not a replacement for face-to-face contact. Media technology may best be seen as an excellent supplement to relationships and community, but not a replacement. It can be used to stay in touch and keep people connected, but in cannot ultimately replace our community and social network of actual people.

Social media can facilitate friendship, but it cannot replace it. We are warm-blooded creatures and need other warm-blooded people to have community, something a computer screen cannot provide. Social media serves as a supplement to community, not a substitute!

WHY WE SHOULD ENGAGE

So then why do we engage? I read an article recently entitled,"Re-Wired" by Brandon Cox that addressed the issue of why He believes the Church should engage in the interest and have a viable presence in social media!Here is an except from that article:

"As we develop a driving philosophy of why to take up the mantle of social media engagement, it’s important to understand that the purposes for engaging the culture this way are the same purposes that led the church to engage with the world before the Internet ever existed.

1. We engage because the world needs Jesus: Paul declared he would “try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some” (1 Cor. 9:22). The world needs Jesus, and the very people we want to reach with the gospel are involved in social media—especially those in the youngest generations. They’re tweeting. They’re Facebooking. They’re Instagramming. We can’t expect a lost world to come to our turf on our terms to hear our message. We must actively engage them with the hope that is in us. If we hope to share Jesus with them, we need to go where they already are.

2. We engage because the conversation happens with or without us: Right now, people are talking about big issues. Dialogue is ongoing when it comes to politics, economics, science, medicine, sports, technology and religion. In most areas of life, someone is leading the conversation that’s happening, and it isn’t waiting for us to catch up. The conversation is happening whether we’re a part of it or not. Within the last half-century, our tendency has been to retreat into our Christian bubbles where everything feels comfortable to us. If we’re honest, we’d rather spend time talking to other Christians about the Christian life than risk engaging in conversations with people who disagree with us or have tough questions we can’t answer. It takes courage to engage, but engage we must if we are to lead the conversation about Jesus forward.

3. We engage because God should be glorified in every space:

In every space where people are talking, the glory of God should be evident. His light should be shined into the darkest corners of society. It stands to reason that if the role of Twitter and other social networks is to empower everyday people with a voice, then we should certainly take advantage of the opportunity to use that voice to point people to the glory of God.

4. We engage because it’s the mission of the Church:

It is impossible to fulfill the Great Commission as Jesus gave it without engaging the culture around us. The members of the earliest church in the city of Jerusalem would confirm this. Jesus had plainly commissioned them to not only share the gospel with their surrounding community, but also to do so to the uttermost parts of the earth. They did well locally, but they failed to leave their city. So persecution came. What happened next? The Bible says that “the believers who were scattered preached the Good News about Jesus wherever they went” (Acts 8:4). They had to learn the lesson the hard way that God is serious about us going to every piece of the planet with the good news.

5. We engage because people need us to engage: Because the world’s leading thinkers understand the Internet is a virtually limitless source of knowledge updated in real time. Living conditions can be improved by giving people access to knowledge about anything from better architecture to advanced medical training to new farming methods and more.

In the conclusion of his article he adds this,"There’s the fact that in every country in the world, there is a church. It may be small and underground, but churches exist virtually everywhere. The Internet affords churches access to this massive infrastructure for helping mankind. Even in impoverished nations, church leaders tend to gather to discuss the needs of their respective congregations. Some places have no hospitals or grocery stores, but there are churches. These churches, with the aid of the Internet, can help to serve and lead their communities. Imagine the results we could see if we really used social media to meet the needs of people, not only in places where the Internet is just now becoming available, but also in our own backyards. People have real needs that can be met via social media. Therefore, social media is a tool that cannot be ignored as a viable means of extending the Great Commission and helping others heal with the message of Jesus. There’s a purpose for everything under heaven. This means that there’s a purpose for the Internet, and there also ought to be purpose in the way that we use it."

MY CONCLUSION

I shared with my readers, in a previous article entitled ,"The Power of One Person" (you can find that article on the side bar of this page), the tremendous power in the personal message and how powerfully it can and does resonate with others! It has become the fastest way consensus is formed, through trending thoughts and ideas! It is the way groups, whether good or bad (like the Jihadists) are creating converts and dispatching recruits! As long as there are individuals out in the cyber world who are looking for purpose and meaning in their life there will be those who are vulnerable and can easily be influenced to follow a powerful message that resonates with them including extremist movements and philosophies!

So, why do we engage? Because in a world that desperately needs Jesus Christ and the liberty, freedom and life changing power of the Gospel, we are called to be the voice that cries out in the wilderness! We are commanded to be the light the pierces the darkness! We are the custodians of Gods great and precious promises! Finally, we are Kingdom ambassadors charged to bring that message to all who have ears! That include the internet, social media, the cloud, and all of cyber space!

The internet cannot and should not ever take the place of the local church assembly, but imagine the possibilities that lay ahead for the Church if she, through spiritual, wisdom and as an outflow of the local church, grasps ahold of the power and influence of this new world of communication and claims it for God's Kingdom, power and glory!!!!

I think it is very revealing that as the power of the internet and social media grows, so does the secular cry for regulation and "fairness"! ( Of course we all know that means we want you to engage on the internet,"as long as you agree with us").

Selah!!!

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FORGING YOUR FAITH

To 'Forge' something, is to mold and shape something for suitable use. We believe that our lives are constantly being shaped and molded by the hand of God for His divine purpose! This publication strives to encourage believers who are beginning this process and those who are well into it! We also believe a truly successful life is a Christ-Centered Life! We hope you will join us and become a regular reader!
Thank You and God Bless,Marianne Mauti

Founder and CAO

'Forging Your Faith' is the online Christian publication of 'Christ the King Church' in Bellevue, Pa.

About Marianne Mauti: Marianne is a writer and blogger as well as a Pastor at "Christ the King Church" in Bellevue, Pa. She is currently the Dean and Chief Operating Officer of "Christ the King Seminary" a full time Bible Institute. For more information about us please contact us at: crowncntr@aol.com

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ARTICLE RESOURCES

*The Bible

The Biblical Role of a Father

By Marianne Mauti

The Biblical Role of a Father

Sitting on my daddy's knee.
Here with my older sister.

More than ever before, it is important for men and women to acknowledge and re-affirm the role of 'Father' in the family.God created man and made him complete by creating a woman. Together they created an earthly family. This family unit became a type of God's eternal relationship with mankind. He is our head, we are His Church (the Bride of Christ) and together we are called to produce the family of God. God, our 'Heavenly Father' similarly structured our earthly families by placing man at the head. The importance of maintaining this God-ordained family structure cannot be minimized and the headship role of husband and father is at the core of it's success .

Without a proper Biblical understanding and acceptance of a his role in the family, it isn't possible for a man to spiritually and physically lead his family. Without a God ordained head the family structure can't be maintained. According to Gods plan, being a responsible father necessitates being a good husband (1 Cor. 7:1-5). God commands that a husband love, honor, nourish and cherish his wife (Eph. 5:25-30; Col. 3:19; 1 Pet. 3:7), then he will be in the right position to do the same as a good father.

When a man effectively leads his family and follows Biblical principles, the result is harmony, peace and fulfillment. It doesn't mean there are never any problems, what it does however provide, is the right formula for success. God promises that families that follow His plan will be blessed. If the man fulfills His God-given role as a husband and father, he ultimately ensures the health and well being of his wife and children.

The Role of Fathers in Today's Culture

Unfortunately today most men don't understand the importance of God's family structure. Men are sadly relinquishing their headship role in an alarming rate, in pursuit of material success. This has left an undue burdened on wives and results in less time with the children. It seems that in today's family formula anything goes. Any relationship role is acceptable, in any manner or form deemed time efficient, culturally acceptable and personally pleasing. As a result, for the last several decades, we have begun to see its effect on the family structure. So, how have modern social and economic formulas changed the role of the father?

Before the industrial revolution, fathers often worked side by side with their sons and instruct their children in spiritual values. When industrialization took over the American landscape, fathers left their farms and headed to the factories. Fourteen to sixteen hour workdays set the stage for the absentee father. Fatherhood eventually came to be regarded as the breadwinner who fulfilled their parental duties by providing. They also led the family in establishing moral values and saw to the religious education of their children.

The time spent away from the family began to erode the father's most important role, headship. Children began to relay more on the mother for their physical and spiritual instruction. Conversely, with more time away from their family, men were drawn to and influenced by alternate lifestyles which led to a sharp increase in abandonment, illegitimacy and necessitated the development of welfare programs to assist the women and children affected.

In more recent decades, the changing role of women has had the greatest impact on the role of the father. Between 1948-2001, working age women employed or looking for work nearly doubled from less than 33% to more than 60%. The increase in their financial independence made the financial leadership of the father less important. The increase rate of divorce , remarriage and childbirth outside of marriage, have resulted in a transition from the Biblical role of a father to multiple and undefined roles. Today's fathers have been forced to take on roles vastly different than the one God originally designed.

The Effect on Your Children

The increased rate of divorce and re-marriage, and the new multiple, undefined roles for fathers has not only effected the role of husbands and wives, but it has effected and redefined a fathers relationship with his children. One thing is clear , however the family is defined today, the role of the father is still as important as it was when God first instituted it. Recent research on the role of fathers reveals something the Bible has long advocated; the love and influence of a father's love on their child's development is as great as the influence of a mother's love. A fathers love and influence have been shown to help their children develop a sense of security, which directly effects their social, emotional and cognitive development and function. Children who receive more love from their fathers are less likely to struggle with behavioral and substance abuse problems.

If Christian men do not teach their sons how to be a Godly husband and father, by example, we will continue to see decline in the family and an ongoing erosion of Godly principles and values in our society. As a result, we will continue to see tremendous fractures grow between parents and children. The lack of Christ centered love and discipline will continue tear at the framework of the family. Many scholars agree that the heart of a successful civilization is a strong family structure.

A Good Father

The Bible is a revelation of mans inability, apart from God, to live a blessed and prosperous life. Wherever there is sin and separation from God there will be problems. Knowing that, God is here to help families live and thrive in an imperfect world, even as we work through the consequences of our own mistakes. God begins by giving men and women defined roles and relationship parameters in which to live. Solomon, considered to be the wisest man to ever live, had his share of family problems. He reminds us in Ecclesiastes that whatever mankind is working through today are the same issues they were working through then. " What has been will be again, whatever has been done, will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. (Ecc. 1:9). If a successful civilization requires a strong family structure it would seem sensible for us to go to the Creator, read what He has to say about it!

Most importantly, it is necessary for father's and mother's to understand and accept their God-given roles. When you look at the confusion in male and female roles today, is it any wonder so many children are confused, emotionally disconnected and searching in all the wrong places for love, affection and acceptance. The restoration of a God centered family begins with understanding the proper Biblical role of the father! So how does God's Word define a good father?

A Good Father... is one whose priorities in his family match those that Jesus described in Matthew 22: "Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the Law of Moses?" Jesus replied, " You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' The entire law and all demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments."

Love is inherent in God's nature, as his children we are called to give God the love that is within us. It is the greatest command because it is the foundation of our relationship with God, our creator. It is also the guiding principle and the foundation of relationship between a father and his children. It is in fact an earthly example given to our earthly children so that they can see and understand the love of God and His role in our eternal life! The Bible does give us a description of the way we should express our love one to another. It also shows us the heart of a father towards his children. God’s love is a selfless love and serves as the example of what a fathers love should also be. There is so much we can learn about the nature of fatherhood through our relationship with God: "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance." 1 Cor. 13; 4-7

A Good Father…. teaches his children how to live a Godly life, through instruction and discipline. He will treat them with love and dignity so that they understand the reason for the correction and do not become angry. It should always be done in the spirit of love: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord." Eph. 6:4

A Good Father …. is a giving father. He is giving of his time and resources to all of his children because he wants what is best for them. Luke 11:11-13 shows us the heart giving nature of a father: "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then thought you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!"

A Good Father… teaches his children how to serve others, to be benevolent and kind: "Father to the fatherless, defender of widows- this is God, whose dwellings holy." Psalm 68:5

A Good Father… disciplines those he loves. Our children need to understand that wrong behavior alway leads to consequences, sometimes very painful and life long ones. Far better for them to learn this from you than to find it out in jail someday: "For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights." Proverbs 3:12

A Good Father… is compassionate to his children. He tries to understand his children's issues and struggles, from their point of view. He takes into consideration all of the things they have to deal with in the world, and from their peers. He tries to remembers what he went through as a child. It is important to show our children there is mercy and forgiveness for what they have done. By doing this you teach your children the compassion and mercy and forgiveness of God: "As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him." Psalm 103:13

A Good Father… teaches his children about God their 'Heavenly Father', through His Word. He shows them the way of eternal salvation through His Son Jesus Christ and how to receive the indwelling of His Holy Spirit so they are enable to live in in an imperfect world with God's power and authority. God has is given charge to instruct our children in all the ways of the Lord.

As For Me and My House

There is a wonderful example in the Bible of what God intended a father to be. It can be found in the book of Joshua 24:1-15. Joshua was a visible leader in his nation and also spiritual leader in his home. God's plan is that the father be the visible provider, protector, example and teacher to his children. A father must take responsibility for his family!

A Responsible Father.... is one who takes his God given responsibilities with God’s help and carries them out. 14 "Now fear the Lord and serve Him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshipped beyond the River Euphrates and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then chose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:14-15

A Responsible Father…. believes in teaching their children dedication to God and biblical morality. Joshua believed that as a father he needed to make certain commitments to God and God's principles that were given to his people to live by. He was a Godly influence on his family and his nation. Many fathers today spend more time supporting their favorite sports team then spending time with their children. Find something you can all enjoy together. Whenever you spend time with your family you promote a healthy attitude of caring, sharing, giving and serving. All of these are the building blocks of character.

A Responsible Father… never places work above his family. If you feel it is more important for you to provide them money, cars, homes, game systems, vacations, computers etc. to you children than spending time with them, you are teaching them to misplace their values. You are also showing them that what is more important you than them. Giving them the reward of your hard work is never going to replace the importance of the value of your time in their lives.

My husband with his family!

A Responsible Father... lives by a set of standards and teaches his family the moral and ethics value of God's Word. Joshua was willing to take a stand that was not popular. “Choose you this day whom you will serve, as for me….". He made his choice based on his confidence, trust and love for God. While others chose to live for their own pleasure and selfish desires Joshua was a man who stood for what is right and he set an example for his family and nation. Joshua chose the road of faithfulness and obedience rather than the popularity and recognition of men.

Being a Responsible Father... may mean you will have to occasionally make choices that are not popular with your family. It takes conviction to live according to Gods word but it is your responsibility to do so, and if you truly love your children they will be more important than what others may think.

A Responsible Father… is unselfish; each and every decision includes his family. He puts their need above his own. A mother was not designed to raise the children alone. God has delegated the responsibilities for raising children to both parents, and each fills a role that the other cannot perform. The father’s presence should be felt in his home through its rules, and its worship and with his gentle love, leadership, and example. Training and admonition mean more than simply discipline or punishment for wrongdoing. They imply that a father should spend time instructing and training his children to do what is right. Children need to understand how to do what is good and avoid those things, which are evil. A responsible father will show them the right path and start them out on it. The ultimate goal is to get lead them in their walk with God, so eventually they will submit their life to Him.

The greatest tragedy of we are experiencing today is the lack of Biblical understanding and the failure of even Christian fathers to accept their leadership role! One out of three children born today are born in a fatherless home. In 40% of the families in America there is no father. In even more homes in our country the father is not a visible part of the family at all. God's plan for child training involves two loving parents.

There is an undeniable linkage between fathers and their children and it begins at birth. Infants as young as 6 weeks old can tell the difference between a mother and a father’s voice. It has even been shown that babies can distinguish between their mother and father's care. Babies are born with a need to connect to their mothers and fathers but the connection is different. Children will seek out their father; want to know where he is when he is not around. As they get older children will compete for their fathers attention. They will also confront his values, beliefs and of course his limits. Children hear what their father has to say and watch how he conducts his life.

Daddy's and Daughters

There has been a recent acknowledgment of the need for boys to have a viable connection to their father. Little is said however, of the enormous importance of fatherhood in the lives of daughters. Because today's culture is becoming increasingly difficult and dangerous for young women, daughters needed to fell the strength and security of a loving father. Our daughters are being daily bombarded with cultural messages meant to define them as sexually viable at a younger age. The peer pressure to preform as adults, even before they reach puberty, is almost impossible to withstand without a strong Godly father. The lack of male leadership has created a culture of verbal, physical, and sexual assault. It has also spawned a huge rise in eating disorders, alcohol addiction, depression and suicide.

With our daughter

Most psychologists agree that the most important influence in a girl’s life is her father. Dr. Meg Meeker (specialist in pediatric and adolescent medicine) who has 20 years experience in counciling young women and their families had this to say, "The quality of a girl's relationship with her father has a huge impact on the formation of her personality, her level of self-esteem, confidence and happiness and therefore on the choices she makes in life. A father has the potential to give his daughter something that her mother cannot." She went on to say, "Girls today are being pushed to be more independent and autonomous at earlier ages and parents are afraid of being too protective. In our current culture girls are far more vulnerable in many ways that boys are not." Dr. Meeker emphasizes the need for fathers to monitor their daughter’s exposure to potentially harmful media and also to be vigilant when they start spending time with young men. Finally she had this distressing statistic to share, "One in eleven middle school girls has been hit, slapped or physically hurt on purpose while out with a male. One out of eleven also say they were forced to have intercourse. An astonishing 96 percent of students report that they have experienced emotional or psychological abuse while out with a male."

During the teenage years, a daughter needs her father more than ever, and fathers often misinterpret their daughter’s behavior. Dr. Meeker writes," Many fathers complain that their daughters won't talk to them. The truth is that fathers tend to discourage conversation. If a girl believes that every conversation with you is going to be an opportunity to criticize and reprimand them, instead of finding a way to have an uplifting, they will never open up to you! Have an encouraging conversation that will help her to feel good about herself and confident in your unconditional love! Most of all they need you to listen! If a daughter can trust her dad to listen, she will go to him when she faces difficult times or has to make life-altering decisions.

A girl whose father sets boundaries and curfews, helps to lead and guide his daughter into a Godly relationship with a man when she is old enough to seriously consider getting married.

Dad's need to spend time with your daughters. You need to engage your daughter on a more verbal and emotional level than your son! While it goes against your male nature you have to try. She needs to know that you can come to her when she need the confidence, validation and reassurance that she is looking for from the opposite sex!

Finally, girls need more emotional and physical affection. If they don't feel your love and the love of God through you, demonstrated in a healthy form of physical affection, they will look for it somewhere else. If they feel valuable, worthy and loved by you then they will not need validation from someone whose only interest in them is what they can't take from them, leaving them broken, hurt and alone. The impact of a father simply giving his daughter a hug should not be underestimated. Don't withdraw from your daughter during her teen years, that’s when she needs you, the most! There is something very special and particular about this relationship. It has the potential to protect a girl emotionally, physically and psychologically, as no other relationship in her life! A young woman's relationship with her father has a significant impact on her life-long view of men, herself and God!

Fathers and Sons

With our oldest son!

Boy's genuinely suffer in the absence or non-involvement of a father. Boys without fathers are twice as likely to drop out of school, twice as likely to go to jail and nearly 4 times as likely to need treatment for emotional and behavioral problems as boys with fathers. Research has shown that boys are seriously in trouble and the major reason for it is because dads have become so distracted, overworked, exhausted, uninterested, chemically dependent, divorced and just clueless how to relate. The absence of masculine role models and mentoring is the greatest crisis

Young men need the reassurance of a good father. Life for a teenage male can seem overwhelming and they need a father's guidance. Why do I feel something raging inside? Why is my body reacting differently to girls, and why are my emotions all over the place? Father's are specially equipped to empathize and explain the predicament that their sons are going through! In single family homes ( with a mother only) it is important to find a Godly man or male Pastor you trust, to spend some time with your son and allow them to share their frustrations and confusion with them.

Dad's, you need to be your sons greatest source of encouragement, their biggest cheerleader. You can help put what they are going through into perspective, help them see the end of the tunnel! You get to show your son how a Christian man treats women. When you speak kindly to your wife and show her the respect and honor she deserves, you are setting a example that they can continually refer to in their future relationships. The way you treat your daughter will also show them how to treat some one elses daughter! You lead by example.

With our youngest son!

It is the fathers responsibility to teach his son how to have a healthy, Biblical understanding of sexuality, not their best friend, the neighbor next door, or the porn site on the internet! Your job requires you to give them a dose of reality when it comes to the consequences of premarital sex, and pregnancy outside of marriage. Your son needs to know it is safe to come to you to get the truth and not be harshly judged. (When discipline is necessary, do it in the sprit of love and reconciliation, not out of anger or disappointment) Be transparent with him, let him see you vulnerably and susceptibility to the needs of flesh. He needs to know he is not the only one who has ever gone through this! Show him God's loving kindness, mercy and grace! Assure them that with every temptation, God always gives you the choice and the ability to walk away!

Finally show him the beauty of marriage and the wisdom in waiting for Gods best! God has not put limits on sex inside the bonds of marriage; He has however put limits on sexual immorality. God defines what is good and beneficial for his creation but he has also defined for us what is destructive.

Conclusion

One of the greatest lies being perpetuated by the so called child experts is that parents need to give their teenager children room to express themselves as individuals, 'Teens Need Their Space'. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, it is completely the opposite. Around the time your teens are stretching their wings, mothers and especially fathers have to be be even more diligent in caring for and protecting their children. There are too many dangerous traps already being laid, and predators just waiting to pluck your child away. Be involved and diligent so you can head off the self-destructive nature of your teenager!

Don't be ignorant! The internet plays a huge role in the challenge families face today. There are so many new ways for all of the harmful things you have spent years protecting your family from, to leisurely creep into your home. Sexually explicit sites, private chatroom etc. It is imperative, especially for fathers, to understand and control accessibility to the internet and social media! We can't expect our children to self-govern themselves!

Finally...

Spend Time With God as a Family...Take the time to read the Word together and discuss it. Allow them to see that the most important thing you do together as a family is learn about your relationship with God together!

Become Involved in a Local Church as a Family... While this goes against the grain of our current culture, going to church together as a family is extremely important in establishing a pattern for their lives. Becoming a part of a local church that gives them a community of believers who will be a source of comfort strength.

Pray For Them Everyday... This is one of the most important things you do for them. No one will love and care for your children the way that you do. Your prayer before God have great meaning and value. God will give you insight on how to minister to your children. He will also show how to let go and trust Him. Your time in prayer ,can be a time of comfort and healing for you, especially when you and your child are going through difficult times.

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FORGING YOUR FAITH

To 'Forge' something, is to mold and shape something for suitable use. We believe that our lives are constantly being shaped and molded by the hand of God for His divine purpose! This publication strives to encourage believers who are beginning this process and those who are well into it! We also believe a truly successful life is a Christ-Centered Life! We hope you will join us and become a regular reader!

Thank You and God Bless,

Marianne Mauti

Founder and CAO

'Forging Your Faith' is the online Christian publication of 'Christ the King Church' in Bellevue, Pa.

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ARTICLE RESOURCES

* The Bible

*Dr. George R. Beninate: Is Bishop of "Christ the King Church" in Pennsylvania, West Virginia and in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. A Doctor of Theology, Biblical Apologist, conference speaker, lecturer and my spiritual father.He is also the Author of several books including,"The Age of Glory", Thank you for your relentless pursuit of truth!

* Marianne Mauti